{"id":5336,"date":"2013-10-01T13:15:03","date_gmt":"2013-10-01T19:15:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/speeches-dev.byu.edu\/?p=5336"},"modified":"2021-03-15T10:46:09","modified_gmt":"2021-03-15T16:46:09","slug":"fellowship-one-another","status":"publish","type":"speech","link":"https:\/\/speeches-dev.byu.edu\/talks\/neal-lavaun-cox\/fellowship-one-another\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cAnd They Did Fellowship One with Another\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"
As a preface to my remarks today, I wish to declare my faith and testimony. I know that there is a God in heaven. He is our Heavenly Father, and He loves all of His children. He has revealed Himself to the world in these the latter days, and prophets walk the earth today as they did anciently.<\/p>\n
God loved us, so he sent his Son,
\nChrist Jesus, the atoning One,
\nTo show us by the path he trod
\nThe one and only way to God.<\/i>
\n[\u201cGod Loved Us, So He Sent His Son,\u201d\u00a0Hymns,<\/i>\u00a02002, no. 187]<\/p>\n
I rejoice with you today in this good news and in this truth.<\/p>\n
During the past several years my wife, Carol, and I have been fortunate to live with you here in \u201cHappy Valley.\u201d I consider this a great blessing for us and our family. But I have discovered that even in Happy Valley there are some among us who are not happy and who yearn for recognition and friendship. I find this odd because we live in an environment of relative tranquility and abundance. During an earlier era of peace and plenty described in the Book of Mormon, it was noted: \u201cAnd they did fellowship one with another, and did rejoice one with another, and did have great joy\u201d (Helaman 6:3). As we fellowship or befriend others, we can also rejoice with them and have great joy.<\/p>\n
I have seen this outcome in many of your lives, but not all. There are lonely people among us, and today I share your concern for such souls. Perhaps you are among the lonely. Surely some of those within your reach sense the emptiness of feeling alone in the world. Moroni had such feelings when he wrote, \u201cI am alone . . . , and I have not friends\u201d (Mormon 8:5). But his world was devoid of Saints. In Provo we are surrounded!<\/p>\n
In 1867 Mark Twain visited New York City and reported the following: \u201c[New York] is a splendid desert\u2014a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race\u201d (\u201cLetter from \u2018Mark Twain,\u2019\u201d San Francisco\u00a0Daily Alta California,<\/i>\u00a011 August 1867, 1). How sad that lonely souls walked the same streets as thousands of other lonely persons\u2014their potential friends. This is contrary to the way God would have us live. He desires that we be \u201cno more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens\u201d (Ephesians 2:19).<\/p>\n
Today there are still lonely people in New York City as well as throughout the world. Listen to a sampling of their voices:<\/p>\n
\u201cI always feel lonely and have no friends.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not important to anyone. I\u2019m forgettable. I\u2019m boring.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cI am so lonely. . . . Please just talk to me.\u201d<\/i>\u00a0[\u201cI Am Lonely,\u201d experienceproject.com]<\/p>\n
Or consider the words of a woman who recently visited a beautiful park. Excited to make new friends that day, she noted:<\/p>\n
I passed at least 20 adults, some with children, some with dogs on leashes. The dogs appeared to be excited, tails wagging, stopping to take a sniff at anyone who acknowledged them. . . .<\/i><\/p>\n
. . . No one smiles, no one can say hi, and if you try to say hi to them, they turn their heads. . . . Maybe some owners could learn a lesson or two from their furry companions.<\/i><\/p>\n
The park visitor concluded, \u201cIf you don\u2019t extend your hand out to others, there won\u2019t be anyone to miss you when you are gone\u201d (LifebyLisa, \u201cShort Stories: Loneliness,\u201d 10 August 2007, beyondprose.com\/index.php\/short-stories-loneliness-33-287448).<\/p>\n
Let me briefly add a personal disclaimer. Today\u2019s advice is not intended to encourage anyone to disregard common sense when dealing with others. Certainly there are rare situations that necessitate avoiding people. Scripture warns, \u201cEnter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men. Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away\u201d (Proverbs 4:14\u201315). However, to personally extend this biblical warning unnecessarily to multitudes of well-meaning but lonely people is to forfeit opportunities to bless lives\u2014yours included.<\/p>\n
Not long ago a sophomore at BYU found her way to my office. Her demeanor and body language bespoke her sadness, and she lamented that she had failed to become involved or make many friends during her first year in Provo. I mostly listened as she conducted a personal therapy session with herself and as she concluded, saying, \u201cI guess I just need to get outside myself and do something for others.\u201d She had made a very wise and absolutely correct diagnosis of the malady from which she was suffering, and I knew I could help.<\/p>\n
I immediately walked the young woman to the Student Leadership office, which houses the programs of the Brigham Young University Student Service Association, or BYUSA as it is better known. There she was introduced to a genuinely happy and gregarious student volunteer who took her on a tour of the office, explaining the various ways in which students may become involved and serve others. I left knowing that my young friend was in good hands. She was doing what she herself had prescribed. She was getting outside herself and finding ways to serve others.<\/p>\n
A few days after our visit to the Student Leadership office, I returned to communicate thanks to the dedicated student volunteer who had fellowshipped my friend. The volunteer said, with excitement in her voice, \u201cYour friend is here in the office this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere?\u201d I questioned.<\/p>\n
\u201cOver there.\u201d She pointed to a spot perhaps fifty feet from where we stood. I quickly made my way to see my once lonely and unhappy friend but opted to stay out of sight while within range of her voice. My friend had gotten involved and was giving a tour of the office to two freshmen.<\/p>\n
I heard her say, \u201cI didn\u2019t get involved but kept to myself during my freshman year, and I regret it. You need to get outside yourself and find a way to serve. We can help you!\u201d This was music to my ears, and when I made my appearance I observed the smile that had replaced the previous distressed look on my friend\u2019s face. Similar excited and happy looks were observed on the faces of the two visitors. I had just witnessed modern fulfillment of the important Book of Mormon parallel: \u201cAnd they did fellowship one with another, and did rejoice one with another, and did have great joy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Professor Richard J. Light, in his groundbreaking research regarding college students, observed, \u201cStudents report that their most powerful memories come from incidents and experiences outside of classes, usually during interactions with fellow students\u201d (Making the Most of College: Students Speak Their Minds [Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard University Press, 2001], 210). I would add that campus clubs, the Y-Serve office, and Student Leadership programs at BYU are wonderful ways to find service opportunities and thus have positive interactions with other students. If you feel such a need, these programs beckon you! Please find a way to contribute and get outside yourself. If you are concerned that involvement may adversely impact your academics, Dr. Light concluded, \u201cOn average, students who do volunteer work have slightly higher grades than those who don\u2019t\u201d (Making the Most of College,<\/i>\u00a029).<\/p>\n
President Thomas S. Monson visited the BYU campus in 2007. He observed that day:<\/p>\n