One winter\u2019s morning during a snowstorm, I took my mother to have some blood tests done. It was \u201cwhite-knuckle\u201d driving on snowy, icy roads. We were headed home and going around a corner very slowly. The car hit black ice, and as if in slow motion, we headed for the curb. THUNK! I quickly asked Mom, \u201cAre you OK?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
We continued cautiously, slowly.<\/p>\n
Then I said in an oh-so-sarcastic kind of way, \u201cSo I suppose you\u2019re going to sue me for whiplash.\u201d Instantly she jumped in, moaning and holding her neck. \u201cOh . . . ohhhhhh . . . oh, my neck hurts. . . . Oh, I can\u2019t move my head. . . . Oh dear, I have to call . . .\u201d and she tried to say the name of one of the lawyers who advertises on TV. (\u201cOne call . . . that\u2019s all!\u201d) It was so spontaneous and so hilarious that we both laughed until we were screaming.<\/p>\n
We eventually came up for air, but Mom kept the fun going for days, calling me, moaning and whining about her whiplash the minute I\u2019d answer.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m so grateful for what I have learned from my parents about being cheerful, lighthearted, and\u2014yes\u2014sometimes silly.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a blessing to have been asked to ponder the topic of being merry and praising the Lord. This is another of my \u201csoul-search\u201d topics. I pray that what I have prepared will be uplifting, comforting, thought provoking, and happifying\u2014all in just twenty-five minutes!<\/p>\n
The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that \u201chappiness is the object and design of our existence\u201d (Teachings<\/i>, 255).<\/p>\n
That\u2019s why our Heavenly Father\u2019s plan is so often called the great plan of happiness. Happiness is part of our nature, as it is part of God\u2019s nature. As Alma taught his son Corianton:<\/p>\n
And now, my son, all men that are in a state of nature, or I would say, in a carnal state . . . are without God in the world, and they have gone contrary to the nature of God; therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness. <\/i>[Alma 41:11]<\/p>\n
We are born with a naturally sunny, optimistic, cheerful disposition. Feeling joy and happiness doesn\u2019t mean we\u2019re always laughing our heads off, although, laughter is<\/i> very therapeutic! President James E. Faust has said: \u201cDon\u2019t forget to laugh at the silly things that happen. Humor . . . is a powerful force for good when used with discretion. Its physical expression, laughter, is highly therapeutic\u201d (\u201cLearning for Eternity<\/a>,\u201d Brigham Young University 1997\u201398 Speeches<\/i> [Provo: Brigham Young University, 1998], 78). He\u2019s right! When we laugh hard, our heart rate speeds up, the circulatory and immune systems are stimulated, and more endorphins are produced. (And then they go perform at Sea World).<\/p>\n In Proverbs we read, \u201cA merry heart doeth good [like] medicine\u201d (17:22). I was told that Picabo Street, the great Olympic skier, wants to become a nurse and work in the ICU so she can answer the phone with \u201cPicabo, ICU.\u201d Isn\u2019t it like a dose of good medicine when we laugh together? It feels unifying!<\/p>\n Abraham Lincoln once said: \u201cWith the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die\u201d (quoted in James E. Faust, \u201cThe Need for Balance in Our Lives<\/a>,\u201d Ensign,<\/i> March 2000, 4). I heard that if you want or need to laugh and you don\u2019t\u2014if you suppress laughter\u2014it goes to your hips and spreads out.<\/p>\n Sister Hinckley had (and I\u2019m sure still has) a delightful sense of humor. She said: \u201cThe only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache\u201d (Virginia H. Pearce, ed., Glimpses into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley<\/i> [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1999], 107). How we miss her.<\/p>\n A good sense of humor can help us in many ways in life. President Gordon B. Hinckley once said:<\/p>\n We\u2019ve got to have a little humor in our lives. You had better take seriously that which should be taken seriously but, at the same time, we can bring in a touch of humor now and again. If the time ever comes when we can\u2019t smile at ourselves, it will be a sad time.<\/i> [TGBH<\/i>, 432]<\/p>\n Several years ago my friend Helen told me that in her little town of Vernon, Utah, where there were way too many crickets, they included some cricket recipes in their ward newsletter! I have a special appreciation for those who can laugh even in the midst of challenges.<\/p>\n Someone who tells jokes all the time\u2014to whom everything is funny\u2014does not<\/i> have a sense of humor. And if we hurt someone\u2019s feelings, it\u2019s not funny. The essence of good humor is love! Thomas Carlyle wrote: \u201cTrue humour springs not more from the head than from the heart; it is not contempt, its essence is love\u201d (quoted in James E. Faust, \u201cThe Need for Balance in Our Lives,\u201d Ensign,<\/i> March 2000, 4)<\/p>\n For a few years at the Missionary Training Center, I supervised those learning American Sign Language. One day the supervisor brought her group to my office door to announce they\u2019d been asked to sing for the MTC Christmas program. I could tell something funny was about to happen by the look on her face.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you want to know what they\u2019ve chosen to sing?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course I do!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOur two numbers are \u201cDo You Hear What I Hear?\u201d and \u201cI Heard Him Come.\u2019\u201d The missionaries, several of whom were deaf, laughed and clapped. So did I!<\/p>\n I want to return to President Faust\u2019s comment about humor being \u201ca powerful force for good when used with discretion\u201d (\u201cLearning for Eternity,\u201d 78). I\u2019ve done a lot of thinking about the difference between lightheartedness and lightmindedness. I think lightmindedness is thoughtless\u2014literally, without thought. It is empty, meaningless, and wasteful. Often there is hypocrisy and scorn associated with lightminded laughter. It is irreverent and unholy. It separates us from the Spirit. It\u2019s the things we talk and laugh about that don\u2019t encourage, cheer, or edify.<\/p>\n Lightheartedness is goodness\u2014joyful goodness. It includes all that blesses and happifies us and others. It\u2019s being of good cheer while focusing on the things that matter. It\u2019s a virtue.<\/p>\n Truman Madsen tells a story about Heber C. Kimball:<\/p>\n He is praying with his family and in the midst of the prayer says, \u201cFather, bless Brother So-and-So.\u201d Then he bursts into a loud laugh. I can imagine the heads of his children popping up and their eyes opening. There is a slight pause, and then he says, \u201cLord, it makes me laugh to pray about some people,\u201d and he goes on with his prayer. (see <\/i>Life of Heber C. Kimball, p. 427.) I leave you to say whether that is lightmindedness or profound intimacy with the Lord. He knows. We have a funny bone. He gave it to us. <\/i>[The Radiant Life<\/i> (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1994), 6]<\/p>\n President Harold B. Lee has written,<\/p>\n I have never believed that in order to be righteous one must be sad-faced and solemn. People approved of the Lord have always been those who have laughed and danced and sung as well as worshipped, but at all times within proper bounds and not to excess. <\/i>[Decisions for Successful Living<\/i> (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1973),<\/i> 154]<\/p>\n I took note when Elder Ballard, in a visit to the MTC in September 1985, told the missionaries that \u201clightmindedness offends,\u201d and he said, \u201cYou can tell!\u201d Then he added, \u201cIf we said you couldn\u2019t have a sense of humor, all the Brethren would be in jeopardy\u201d (from author\u2019s personal notes).<\/p>\n President Boyd K. Packer wrote: \u201cA good sense of humor is a characteristic of a well-balanced person. It has always been apparent that the prophets were men with very alert and pleasing senses of humor (Teach Ye Diligently<\/i> [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1973], 210). I remember a time in the Tabernacle years ago on a Sunday morning during general conference when it was hot<\/i>. Everyone was fanning themselves with whatever they could find. President Hinckley got up and said something like \u201cIt\u2019s hot in here. We know you\u2019re hot. But you\u2019re not as hot as you\u2019re going to be if you don\u2019t repent!\u201d The laughter was instant and joyful.<\/p>\n We really are happy people. We can\u2019t help it! We know too much! We are like the Nephites\u2014we \u201c[live] after the manner of happiness\u201d (2 Nephi 5:27). And we work at having happy hearts without being lightminded.<\/p>\n We certainly recognize the importance of reverence for all that is sacred. President Boyd K. Packer said, \u201cThere are some things just too sacred to discuss. . . . It is not that they are secret, but they are sacred, . . . to be harbored and to be protected and regarded with the deepest of reverence\u201d (\u201c\u2018The Spirit Beareth Record<\/a>,\u2019\u201d Ensign,<\/i> June 1971, 87). We are reverent about our Heavenly Father and His holy Son Jesus Christ, including being reverent with Their names. Jesus\u2019 name is the only name under heaven that can save us! (See Acts 4:12; 2 Nephi 25:20.)<\/p>\n President David O. McKay said, \u201cThe greatest manifestation of spirituality is reverence. . . . Reverence is profound respect mingled with love\u201d (\u201cMeditation, Communion, Reverence in Our Houses of Worship,\u201d The Instructor,<\/i> October 1966, 371).<\/p>\n Happiness does not mean an absence of adversity. Why would our baptismal covenant include bearing one another\u2019s burdens if no one had any burdens? Why would we covenant to mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort if no one ever mourned and no one ever needed comforting? (see Mosiah 18:8\u20139).<\/p>\n Elder Jack H. Goaslind has said:<\/p>\n I am convinced if we are to have happiness in our hearts, we must learn how to preserve it, in our hearts, in the midst of trouble and trial. We can control our attitude toward adversity. Some people are defeated and embittered by it, while others triumph over it and cultivate godlike attributes in the midst of it.<\/i> [\u201cHappiness<\/a>,\u201d Ensign,<\/i> May 1986, 54]<\/p>\n Probably each of us can think of someone who has been refined and who has become more godlike through trials. Elder Goaslind uses the word cultivate.<\/i> It indicates work, doesn\u2019t it? We work to develop godlike attributes. President Hinckley has invited us to \u201ccultivate an attitude of happiness. Cultivate a spirit of optimism\u201d (\u201cIf Thou Art Faithful<\/a>,\u201d Ensign,<\/i> November 1984, 92).<\/p>\n Life may not always be exactly what we had in mind, but we\u2019re not alone. Have you noticed that sometimes you draw closer to your Heavenly Father when you are deeply in need? That\u2019s been my experience. And He comes. He is always willing to come. Listen again to what happened to the people of Alma when they were being persecuted by the former priests of Noah:<\/p>\n Lift up your heads and be of good comfort. . . .<\/i><\/p>\n And I will . . . ease the burdens . . . upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.<\/i> [Mosiah 24:13\u201314]<\/p>\n Many of you<\/i> can also be witnesses for Him hereafter, testifying that He also visited you in your afflictions.<\/p>\n Elder James E. Talmage said, \u201c[Happiness] springs from the deeper fountains of the soul, and is not infrequently accompanied by tears. Have you never been so happy that you have had to weep? I have\u201d (\u201cA Greeting to the Missionaries,\u201d Improvement Era,<\/i> December 1913, 173). We have too, haven\u2019t we?<\/p>\n Psalm 30 teaches, \u201cWeeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning\u201d (30:5). Doctrine and Covenants adds, \u201cIf thou art sorrowful, call on the Lord thy God with supplication, that your souls may be joyful\u201d (136:29).<\/p>\n In 2 Nephi 2:13, Lehi is teaching his son Jacob about opposition:<\/p>\n And if ye shall say there is no law, ye shall also say there is no sin. If ye shall say there is no sin, ye shall also say there is no righteousness. And if there be no righteousness there be no happiness. And if there be no righteousness nor happiness there be no punishment nor misery. And if these things are not there is no God.<\/i><\/p>\n There is<\/i> a God, there is<\/i> righteousness, and there is<\/i> happiness.<\/p>\n President Gordon B. Hinckley said, \u201cHappiness comes of righteousness.\u201d He went on to teach that wickedness, sin, selfishness, and greed never bring happiness. And then he said, \u201cHappiness lies in living the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ\u201d (\u201cFast-Paced Schedule for the Prophet,\u201d Church News,<\/i> 20 April 1996, 3).<\/p>\n It\u2019s true that \u201cwickedness never was happiness\u201d (Alma 41:10). And so righteousness never was misery. Adversity, deep water, and fiery trials for sure, but not misery. We can choose to cultivate either happiness or misery. Elder Goaslind has said:<\/p>\n Our joy in God\u2019s kingdom will be a natural extension of the happiness we cultivate in this life. <\/i>[\u201cHappiness,\u201d Ensign,<\/i> May 1986, 53]<\/p>\n A few weeks ago, a woman shared with me a very interesting experience she had during her stake conference. She said her stake president invited all those who were happy to raise their hands. To them he said \u201cCongratulations! You are candidates for the celestial kingdom. The rest of you need to repent!\u201d Then he added, \u201cI\u2019m convinced that in the celestial kingdom there will only be happy people!\u201d<\/p>\n Moroni illustrates this principle in Mormon 9:14:<\/p>\n And then cometh the judgment of the Holy One upon them; and then cometh the time that he that is filthy shall be filthy still; and he that is righteous shall be righteous still; and he that is happy shall be happy still; and he that is unhappy shall be unhappy still.<\/i><\/p>\n We will be \u201craised to happiness according to [our] desires of happiness\u201d (Alma 41:5) and according to the degree to which we have cultivated happiness right here, right now.<\/p>\n Joy is a gift of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22). President Marion G. Romney said, \u201cThe key to happiness [or joy] is to get the Spirit and keep it\u201d (CR,<\/i> October 1961, 61). Heber C. Kimball said: \u201cI am perfectly satisfied that my Father and my God is a cheerful, pleasant, lively, and good-natured Being. Why? Because I am cheerful, pleasant, lively, and good-natured when I have His Spirit\u201d (JD<\/i> 4:222). Has that been your experience? As you have felt the Spirit, have you also felt joy? Joy brings the Spirit, and the Spirit brings joy.<\/p>\n Brigham Young asked:<\/p>\n Where is happiness, real happiness? Nowhere but in God. By possessing the spirit of our holy religion, we are happy in the morning, we are happy at noon, [and] we are happy in the evening. . . . Every Latter-day Saint, who has experienced the love of God in his heart, . . . realizes that he is filled with joy . . . happiness, and consolation.<\/i> [DBY,<\/i> 236]<\/p>\n Think of someone you enjoy being around, and think about why<\/i>. Through the many years I\u2019ve asked others this question, I can\u2019t think of a single time when someone has said, \u201cOh, I like to be around Fifi\u2014she is such a downer! What a pessimist! She\u2019s so negative! I can\u2019t be around her more than 2 minutes without feeling just awful!\u201d Cheerful, optimistic people are pleasant to be around. This certainly includes President Hinckley, who has helped so many of us smile and laugh in a happy way. I feel that his optimism and good cheer come in large measure because of his goodness, his righteousness, and his absolute obedience.<\/p>\n Brigham Young said, \u201cIt does make the Devil mad . . . that he cannot afflict this people so as to make them have a sad countenance\u201d (DBY,<\/i> 236). Another time, he noted: \u201cThere is not a man or woman on this earth, whose peace is made with God, and who are associated with holy beings, and seeking after holy principles, but their countenances are lit up with a lamp of divine cheerfulness\u201d (quoted in Truman G. Madsen, \u201c\u2018The Joy of the Lord Is Your Strength\u2019 (Nehemiah 8:10),\u201d Brigham Young University 2000\u20132001 Speeches<\/i> [Provo: Brigham Young University, 2001], 145). This is taught in Proverbs\u2014\u201cA merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance\u201d (Proverbs 15:13)\u2014and by President Hinckley, who said, \u201cLet the light of the gospel shine in your faces wherever you go and in whatever you do\u201d (\u201cLive the Gospel<\/a>,\u201d Ensign,<\/i> November 1984, 86).<\/p>\n More than 100 years ago, President George Q. Cannon said:<\/p>\n My experience has proved that there is greater happiness, purer joy and more delight to be obtained in serving God and being active in His work than can be obtained in any other direction. . . .<\/i><\/p>\n . . . We illustrate the great truth that a people can be a profoundly religious people and at the same time be a very happy people. I do not believe there is any happier people on the earth than the Latter-day Saints. . . . There must be the fountain of [happiness] within us; and wherever we go and have that spirit within us, we shall be happy. . . . We should cultivate this, and teach it to our children.<\/i> [Collected Discourses Delivered by President Wilford Woodruff, His Two Counselors, the Twelve Apostles, and Others,<\/i> comp. and ed. Brian H. Stuy (n.p.: B.H.S. Publishing, 1989), 5:394\u201395]<\/p>\n President Gordon B. Hinckley has encouraged: \u201cEnjoy your membership in the Church. . . . Enjoy your activity. . . Be happy in that which you do. Cultivate a spirit of gladness in your homes\u201d (\u201cLive the Gospel,\u201d Ensign,<\/i> November 1984, 86). I\u2019m so thankful for the spirit my parents cultivated in our home. I thank both of them for the difference it has made in my life to have them share and nurture a sense of humor, a spirit of optimism, and a cheerful disposition. Another time I can share more about my father, but for now I have a few more things to say about my mother, who is close to 90 years old.<\/p>\n One of Mom\u2019s most wonderful qualities is her ability to laugh at herself. Eleven years ago she suffered a major stroke. This affected her in many ways, including her speech, reading, and writing. Just four months after the stroke, she gave a talk right here in the Marriott Center at women\u2019s conference. One of the things she said in her halting way was not to wait to have a stroke\u2014that you could probably enjoy it more if you had it when you were younger. She felt she had waited too long.<\/p>\n One time in her hospital room, my brother Frank and I were watching as she went to the mirror to brush her teeth. She picked up the tube of toothpaste and stood looking at it. Then, very carefully, she put a little dab on her finger. We kept watching, not wanting to interrupt and trying not to laugh. She looked in the mirror and down at her finger, and then she began to rub the toothpaste on her nose. That did it. We started laughing, and she laughed harder than we did. Frank commented that she wouldn\u2019t be getting any cavities on her nose!<\/p>\n This past September, my mother went with me to St. George for a women\u2019s conference. This was during the annual senior games, and as we shuffled into the motel\u2014Mom leaning on her walker and me dragging our luggage\u2014we noticed all the ship-shape senior athletes. I said to her, \u201cHey, Mom. They think we\u2019re here for the senior games! They\u2019re wondering what our sport is!\u201d That cracked us up!<\/p>\n I\u2019ve spent some challenging times in places far away from my family and from basic conveniences. One thing that \u201chas made all the difference\u201d is to receive letters and packages from home. Once when I was in Hong Kong, Mom sent me a nose-and-glasses combination. How did she know I\u2019d love that? She\u2019s my mother, that\u2019s how. I\u2019d wear it around, including on the busses, and watch for the fun and smiles all around me. When I was in Indonesia, she\u2019d send boxes filled with lovely things she\u2019d found in her basement or at Deseret Industries or received from neighbors wanting to get rid of stuff\u2014from rat traps to aprons, from old drapes to kazoos. While I was in Africa she sent me a Tupperware catalogue, saying that she thought it\u2019d be nice for the sisters out in the bush to have a Tupperware party. We can<\/i> pass along joy and good cheer\u2014and a good sense of humor\u2014to our children and others.<\/p>\n President James E. Faust commented:<\/p>\n For many years as I have blessed newborn children, including my own, I have blessed them with a sense of humor. I do this with the hope that it will help guard them against being too rigid, that they will have balance in their lives, and that situations and problems and difficulties will not be overdrawn. <\/i>[\u201cThe Need for Balance in Our Lives,\u201d Ensign,<\/i> March 2000, 4]<\/p>\n A mother who was diagnosed with cancer told of being isolated in a bare room for many long days behind closed lead-lined doors, feeling like a prisoner convicted of a crime she didn\u2019t commit. Then she tells of her oldest daughter coming to visit:<\/p>\n She sat down behind the lead screen that separated us and proceeded to take off her boots and socks. She slipped her socks on her hands and pretended they were puppets and spoke through them. I laughed for the first time in months. That simple act brightened my outlook instantly.<\/i> [Emily Farmer, \u201c\u2018What Do I Say to Someone Who Is Dying?<\/a>\u2019\u201d Ensign,<\/i> April 1990, 73]<\/p>\nLightheartedness vs. Lightmindedness<\/b><\/h2>\n
Happiness and Adversity<\/b><\/h2>\n
Happiness Is a Result of Righteousness<\/b><\/h2>\n
An Attitude of Happiness and a Spirit of Optimism<\/b><\/h2>\n
Passing Along Joy and Happiness to Children<\/b><\/h2>\n