{"id":1622,"date":"2010-09-12T22:17:38","date_gmt":"2010-09-13T04:17:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/speeches-dev.byu.edu\/?p=1622"},"modified":"2023-11-15T11:11:43","modified_gmt":"2023-11-15T18:11:43","slug":"to-have-peace-and-happiness","status":"publish","type":"speech","link":"https:\/\/speeches-dev.byu.edu\/talks\/richard-g-scott\/to-have-peace-and-happiness\/","title":{"rendered":"To Have Peace and Happiness"},"content":{"rendered":"
I have prayerfully prepared a message designed to bring you peace and happiness in a troubled world. I know that the truths it contains provide solutions because my precious wife, Jeanene, and I have proven their worth in our own lives.<\/p>\n
For you to obtain the maximum benefit from our time together, I suggest that you carefully write down any impressions that come to you. They are personalized messages from the Lord sent through the Holy Ghost for your guidance.<\/p>\n
Two of the vital pillars that sustain Father in Heaven\u2019s plan of happiness are the family and the home. Their lofty significance is underscored by Satan\u2019s relentless efforts to splinter the family and to undermine the significance of temple ordinances, which bind the family together for eternity. He does this by constant encouragement to promote promiscuity and to defile the sacred, intimate expression of love between a husband and wife that results in the birth of children.<\/p>\n
Fifty-seven years ago, on July 16, 1953, my beloved Jeanene and I knelt as a young couple at an altar in the Manti Utah Temple. President Lewis R. Anderson exercised the sealing authority and pronounced us husband and wife, wedded for time and for all eternity. I have no power to describe the peace and serenity that come from the assurance that, as I continue to live to qualify, I will be able to be with my beloved Jeanene and our obedient children forever because of that sacred ordinance performed with the proper priesthood authority in a house of the Lord.<\/p>\n
Our seven children are bound to us by the sacred ordinances of the temple. My precious wife, Jeanene, and two of our children are beyond the veil. They provide a powerful motivation for each remaining member of our family to live so that together we can receive all of the eternal blessings promised in the temple.<\/p>\n
The sealing in the temple has greater meaning as life unfolds and you discover the beauty of the differing characteristics between you, your spouse, and your children. You can share your love for each other and your gratitude for the blessing of being together. You can draw ever closer together and find greater fulfillment in mortality.<\/p>\n
When my wife was carrying our third child, our second child was severely ill. Jeanene would hold him on her lap while they did fluoroscopic examinations. She received excessive radiation, and as a result she was unable to have additional children, and the one that she was carrying passed away prematurely. But we have them. They were born to us in the covenant. That is the blessing of the ordinances of the temple. Even though this mortal probation was for different lengths, those who were sealed to us with the holy priesthood through the ordinances of the holy temple will be ours for forever.<\/p>\n
I know that I will have the privilege of being with that beautiful wife, whom I love with all my heart, and with those children who are with her on the other side of the veil, because of the opportunities made possible through the eternal ordinances that were performed in the Manti Temple. What a blessing to have once again on the earth the sealing authority, effective not only for this mortal life but for the eternities. I am grateful that the Lord has restored His gospel in its fulness, including the ordinances that are required for us to be happy in the world and to live everlastingly joyous lives in the hereafter.<\/p>\n
What to me has become a vitally important part of remembering the blessings that come from the temple is that I love my wife more each day. I recognize that my sealing to my wife is in a sense not yet eternally conferred. We have lived the commandments. We have obtained the blessings of the ordinances in the temple. We have honored those commandments, but she and I both must be found worthy beyond the veil so that those ordinances can be sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise.<\/p>\n
The requirement that it be sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise is how Father in Heaven and the Savior assure that no one will gain those blessings unworthily. An individual may be able to deceive mortals by appearing to be righteous, but there can be no such deception with the Holy Ghost.<\/p>\n
I have asked Rebecca and Ben Marlowe, a recently married couple, to assist me as I try to help you prepare for eternal marriage.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> Ben Marlowe, you are one extraordinarily blessed man. How did you capture the heart of an angel?<\/p>\n
Ben Marlowe: <\/i>I know. She is beautiful.<\/p>\n
Rebecca Marlowe:<\/i> It\u2019s the other way around.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> She is not only beautiful; she is very intelligent.<\/p>\n
Ben:<\/i> Yes, she is.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> I know you are going to find that a blessing in your life as you continue your plans for the future. I would like to ask you some questions, if I may. Rebecca, has your sealing to Ben brought all the happiness you dreamed that it would?<\/p>\n
Rebecca:<\/i> It\u2019s brought all that happiness and more, and the reason why is because, now that we\u2019re sealed, we can do everything together. That was something I didn\u2019t fully comprehend before we were sealed. Being able to do everything together and go through everything together has been such a blessing. And just knowing that no matter what happens we\u2019ll be together forever is a wonderful blessing.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> How does Ben show his appreciation for you?<\/p>\n
Rebecca:<\/i> Ben is so good at doing the little things, and for me that shows appreciation. It\u2019s not a big thing here or a big thing there, but it is consistently doing little things to show that he is grateful for me.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> What does Rebecca do to make your life happy?<\/p>\n
Ben:<\/i> Everything she does makes me happy.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott: <\/i>Men, remember that phrase when you become a husband! That\u2019s outstanding. Do you make the vital decisions together? How do you do that?<\/p>\n
Ben:<\/i> We do. We have had a lot of opportunities since we\u2019ve been sealed to talk and discuss things that are coming up in both of our futures. Sometimes we may not totally agree, and that is something that is great for us because then we know that we can rely on Heavenly Father. That is something that we both always agree on.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> So, if there is a difference of opinion, you then work it out together through prayer with Heavenly Father.<\/p>\n
Rebecca:<\/i> Absolutely.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> That is a wonderful, wonderful pattern for life. How do you determine what should be the highest priority in your marriage?<\/p>\n
Rebecca:<\/i> One thing that has been such a blessing for us is that ever since we\u2019ve known each other we have had the same priorities in our lives. That has helped our marriage a great deal because we are both working together toward the same goals. We\u2019ve determined that our priorities are, first, the Lord and the gospel\u2014and that\u2019s really helped our marriage\u2014then each other, our families, and the family that we have created together. Everything else just kind of falls into place when you put those things first.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> You can\u2019t go wrong when you have prayed to know what the will of the Lord is and then ask Him to help you fulfill it. That sounds like a wonderful pattern for a happy, productive, joyous life. Thank you. Have you ever disagreed on anything in your marriage?<\/p>\n
Ben:<\/i> We have. Like I said earlier, we\u2019ve had some opportunities where we have been able to learn and grow together.<\/p>\n
Rebecca:<\/i> I think that because of our backgrounds and different perspectives, of course there are going to be disagreements in marriage. But I think how you resolve them is the important thing. Like Ben said earlier, no matter what we disagree on, we always agree about going to the Lord. So that\u2019s how we resolve any disagreements that we may have.<\/p>\n
Ben:<\/i> But I don\u2019t know how you can disagree with Rebecca.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> I think he is going to be a diplomat! Do you study the scriptures together?<\/p>\n
Ben:<\/i> We do. It is such a special occasion when every morning or every night we have that opportunity to come together. One thing that we\u2019ve really tried to do after we have had our personal study is to think of questions\u2014maybe something we didn\u2019t understand. Then, as we come together as companions, we talk about those questions. She gives her insight because she has been blessed with a wonderful family who has given her so much knowledge of the gospel. And my mission and my family have helped me so much to gain gospel knowledge and also everyday knowledge that everybody needs.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> You are both blessed to be supported by parents who love you and who agree with what you are doing. That is an enormous blessing in life.<\/p>\n
When I studied scriptures with my wife, she would read, I would read, and we would comment. We didn\u2019t necessarily read the passages together. Is that the pattern you\u2019ve found useful or do you do it some other way?<\/p>\n
Rebecca:<\/i> We always do our personal scripture study. Sometimes we will come together and, like Ben said, we will ask each other questions that we might have. I always have a lot more questions than he has. Sometimes we look at what is going on in our lives and the decisions that we are making or the challenges that we may be having, and we direct our personal study toward those things so that we can possibly find answers to our questions in the scriptures.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> Do you have any counsel for the single and married young people who are listening to this about how you have found happiness in your marriage together?<\/p>\n
Ben:<\/i> I think the greatest thing for myself is being able to spend personal time with Rebecca\u2014always pushing aside work or school to make sure we have some time together so that we can talk, we can communicate, and we just continue to fall in love with one another.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> Do you have a night when you normally date, when you can go out and do things?<\/p>\n
Rebecca:<\/i> Yes, Friday night. He works at the MTC on Saturday nights because, I guess, they have the married people work on the weekend so that the single people can date. So Friday night is our date night.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> Oh, that must be fun. What are some of the things you do on your date night?<\/p>\n
Ben:<\/i> We love movies, so that is probably one of our favorite things to do\u2014just sit and enjoy a movie\u2014because it blocks out the things that we are worrying about or stressing about, and it is just that time we can be together.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> That may be great for a married couple, but I think it is a stupid idea for two people trying to get to know each other! If you are a young man trying to get to know a young girl, for heaven\u2019s sake, don\u2019t take her to a movie! Now, if you are married to an angel, I can understand why you would do that.<\/p>\n
Rebecca:<\/i> I would agree with that, though.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> Do exciting things. Do something that will make it an interesting evening. But don\u2019t do what I did. When I dated my wife, one night I passed a police car on the wrong side. They took us to the station. Can you imagine trying to impress a young lady by being in a police station?<\/p>\n
Rebecca:<\/i> It is more exciting than the movies!<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> That is just like Rebecca. She always turns everything into a positive and always makes life happy. Are you planning to have your own family?<\/p>\n
Rebecca:<\/i> Yes, we are. Absolutely. It is something that we constantly have on our minds because we recognize it is a commandment of Heavenly Father. Because we have had such wonderful families, we understand why it is so important in the gospel, and we desire to have that for ourselves.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> Are you going to decide on how many children come, or are you going to let the Lord decide that?<\/p>\n
Ben:<\/i> She has a number. I\u2019m letting the Lord decide.<\/p>\n
Rebecca:<\/i> We\u2019ll let the Lord decide.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> I really want to thank you both for being so good to do this tonight. It is just a joy. Whenever I am around either one of you, my life is enriched. You know, Ben, that years ago when this angel was just a young child and my wife had passed away, she knew my spirit needed to be lifted. She would call me, and I would hear those words that would just thrill my heart: \u201cHi, Elder Scott. This is Rebecca.\u201d And from then on it has just been a wonderful blessing to know you and now to see you both so very, very happy in marriage.<\/p>\n
Ben:<\/i> We are indeed very, very happy.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> Is there anything you would like to comment on? You\u2019ve got the world at your hand. Any suggestion you\u2019d like to make?<\/p>\n
Rebecca:<\/i> I think one thing that Ben is really, really good at that I have appreciated in our marriage is doing the little things. Do the little things that help your relationship keep going. Also spiritually\u2014to read your scriptures every day, and pray together and individually every day, and go to the temple, and do those little things. I know that Ben\u2019s mission has blessed us so much because he was able to create those habits on his mission that he has implemented into our marriage and made it so much better.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> Thank you.<\/p>\n
Ben: <\/i>My only advice would be to say \u201cI love you\u201d every day. That is one thing that I have done in our marriage that has blessed us greatly. And not only to say it with your mouth\u2014to mean it with your heart as well.<\/p>\n
Elder Scott:<\/i> Thank you both very, very much.<\/p>\nFocus on Building Family Relationships<\/b><\/h2>\n
Once I learned an important lesson from my wife. I traveled extensively in my profession. I had been gone almost two weeks and returned home one Saturday morning. I had four hours before going to a meeting. I noticed that our little washing machine had broken down and my wife was washing the clothes by hand. Having an engineering background, I began to fix the machine.<\/p>\n
Jeanene came by and said, \u201cRich, what are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n
I said, \u201cI\u2019m repairing the washing machine so you don\u2019t have to do this by hand.\u201d<\/p>\n
She said, \u201cNo. Go play with the children.\u201d<\/p>\n
I said, \u201cI can play with them anytime. I want to help you.\u201d<\/p>\n
She said, \u201cRichard, please go play with the children.\u201d<\/p>\n
When she spoke to me that authoritatively, I saluted and obeyed.<\/p>\n
I had a marvelous time with our children. We chased each other around and rolled in the fall leaves. Later I went to my meeting. I probably would have forgotten that experience, were it not for the lesson that she wanted me to learn.<\/p>\n
The next morning, about 4:00 a.m., I was awakened as I felt two little arms around my neck, a kiss on the cheek, and these words whispered in my ear, which I will never forget: \u201cDad, I love you. You are my best, best friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
Are you having that kind of experience with your children? If you are not, you are missing one of the supernal joys of life. If you have not yet married, you can decide now that when you are a parent the happiness of your children will be a very high priority in your life.<\/p>\n
When you live the commandments of Jesus Christ, you qualify to be led by the Lord. Therefore, you will not participate in the wrong things that go on around you. You can identify an eternal companion with whom you will have a marvelous life as you both express faith in the Savior and His power and live worthily through your courtship.<\/p>\n
Make the place where you live, no matter how humble or temporary, the embodiment of a clean, righteous environment where the Spirit can dwell. Keep it a haven of peace, free of conflict or dissension. This advice is given for both those who are married and those who are single. If you begin now to make your home an environment where the Spirit can dwell, it will be all the more likely that you will be able to do so when you have a family of your own.<\/p>\n
Young men, don\u2019t waste time in idle pursuits. Serve a worthy mission. Then make your highest priority that of finding a worthy, eternal companion. Get on with life and work at it. Don\u2019t just coast through this period of life. It goes by too rapidly. When you find you are developing a strong interest in a young woman, show her that you are an exceptional person that she would find interesting to know better. Take her to places that are worthwhile. Show some ingenuity. It is all right to go to the movie after you are married, but it is stupid to do it beforehand. Get to know each other. If you want to have a wonderful wife, you have got to be attractive to her.<\/p>\n
If you have found someone, begin to righteously grow those feelings together. You can form an extraordinarily wonderful courtship and marriage and be very, very happy eternally by staying within the bounds of worthiness the Lord has set.<\/p>\n
How can two people in love avoid crossing the boundary and falling into temptation? Let us define love: To love another righteously is to protect, to elevate, to keep pure and undefiled, and to sacrifice one\u2019s self for the benefit of the other. To love is to hold in reserve sacred, intimate experiences for the sanctity of marriage. When these experiences are appropriately shared in marriage, they draw a husband and wife together and strengthen them for the growing responsibilities of parenthood. These sacred acts result in the formation of physical bodies for the spirit children Father in Heaven entrusts to a mother and father. In that sacred setting, appropriate intimate expression is beautiful and purposeful. When you remember these facts, you will want to keep your courtship clean and pure.<\/p>\n
Now I would like to speak to you who have already found your eternal companion. I invite those who are not yet married to listen closely so that when that time comes you can make your marriage the best it can be.<\/p>\n